so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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