Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
