i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
