im about as happy as oj after his trial
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
