my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
