Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
