yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
