If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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