My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
