I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
