Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
