ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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