i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
