i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
