what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
