Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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