please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
