i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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