I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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