So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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