like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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