if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
