She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
