When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We are all done wearing pants today
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize