My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
