My cat gives me a boner
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
