Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
