oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
