he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
