i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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