in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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