he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
