Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
