Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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