So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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