Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
