??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
