I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
