i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
