oh god the rape fog is back!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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