I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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