he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
