help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
