I accidentally burped into my bong.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
