what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
