woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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