you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize