then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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