"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize