You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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