This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
