There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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