So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
