if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?