Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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