WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.