Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.