I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.