Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize