the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
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He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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