i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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