I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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