Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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