i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
